Elder Braidon Sanders

Wow i have so much to say, so much has happened i dont even know where to start, Tuesday, there was an ice storm warning AND a Tornado watch, one of our baptism dates, did some bad stuff and got arrested and we had to drop him, its really heart breaking when you can see someone struggling and they dont want your help anymore, and I think this has been one of the hardest weeks of my life, i was talking with elder smith and having a discussion, he mentioned something to me and i started thinking really hard about it.....i could feel the true weight of all of my sins, and i felt alone, as soon as i felt this way i called president Kunz and told him what i was feeling and what i was remembering and he is such an amazing man, he said that whats happening is that because im coming closer to Christ I am remembering all the things that i used to not consider sins, that are sins, and i want to get them out he said its the atonement truly in work and that its was going to be really hard for a few days, he said he commends me on going strait to him instead of trying to bear it alone, and that he has no doubts about not only my worthyness but that he is expecting great things from me, my heart was rejoicing but that was just the beginning, thursday- sunday were truly the hardest week of my life, because i had to endure it without the help of my family and friends, elder smith was there for me and gave me a blessing but other than that he couldnt really do much for me, I Truly know what Alma was talking about when he says his heart was ripped out and reorganized by the lord and put by in, and i can testify that IT HURTS, i have been rebuilt of the lord, reborn, but what i had to go through I do not wish on my greatest enemy, what they dont tell you is that while the lord is rebuilding you Satan is also hitting you in any way you can, everything ive ever done was thrust upon me, I WAS in then gall of bitterness, I know a little what its like to have your soul racked with torment, i felt truly alone.....while this was going on, i had to go on a special split because elder smith was called to a special training meeting, and i met an elder brown, he is really sick and is probably going home which is really sad but he told me two things 1. that the best Remedy for yourself is to serve others. and 2 "i want to serve the people and pray for inspiration for them until i physically can't" he helped me see that what i was going through was to help others.....when elder smith got back (friday night) he said that something he learned was that We can all have an Alma the younger experience, we simply have to kneel down and say Heavenly father im not getting up until i get a 100% sure sign that i have been forgiven of all my sins, so i did that, and its true, when you no longer have the strength to continue onward and no longer can fight, KNEEL, i thought i had a testimony of the atonement before, but as i prayed to know if i was forgiven, and sat there, i was looking for that big BOOM from the spirit, finally the spirit told me to pay attention to how i felt, and i finally noticed that my soul, my mind and my heart were completely still, and peaceful, i wasn't tormented, i wasnt doubting, i was so happy, this last sunday as i partook of the sacrament i could feel the lording telling me to get back to work, and never doubt again............the second part my letter i want to challenge everyone, we get on mormon.org once a week and i dont see ANY of my family with profiles, if we have been baptised and we have taken upon us the name of Christ then we have promised to do missionary work and a mormon.org profile is a good start i not only challenge ALL of my family and friends but i challenge the WARD to make, update, and fill there mormon.org profiles so that the world may here there testimonies...